A New Season Finale...

She was learning a lot of New ways of being; 

Being more feminine,

Being More Quiet,

Being more Virtuous,

Being more Authentic...

 and the Lord was constantly testing her 

in everything that she was working on. 

Little did she know... 

some of the new material she was working on, 

required some extensive time to master. 

Unfortunately for her, time was something she always wanted to rush...

and Patience,  was always something that needed new batteries 

when it came to things in her life.

As she sat in her room,

 she looked over her life and how her relationships to people

worked or didn't... 

She began to realize that she had a lot of stuff 

buried deep inside her that really needed to be acknowledged. 

She realized that a lot of fears were buried so deep into her core

that they were taking over every move she made in her life that 

wanted to be good. 

She was self sabotaging everything. 

She was isolating herself all the time. 

She kept taking herself into a deep dark abyss 

and allowing herself to drown in it. 

But right before she took her last breathe she would 

get up and run... 

Breathing life back into her lungs quickly, trying to resuscitate the rest

of herself before it was too late. 

However, this game was getting really old now. 

She was getting too tired to keep playing it. 

She need to grieve and just forgive herself for all the torture

she kept putting herself through

 all because when she was young, 

she didn't know better. 

All this bitterness she was holding onto was destroying

everything good that ever came her way. 

It was time to let it all go... 

The fear of Love... 

The fear of Feelings

The fear of Fear...

and

The fear of Failure.

It was time to accept that no one knew better for her life.

Only her and God knew what she was here to do

and how she should do it. 

It was time to stop hoping that her family would approve

 of her and her choices.

It was time to let go of the idea that the only worth she had 

was in what the world saw of her. 

It was time to just work on the skills that came from her heart. 

To put them into practice with patience and the help 

of the Holy Spirit..

It was time to give herself time and space to be true and 

authentic to herself and with others. 

It was time to really practice and master the art of 

communication in all areas of her life, especially with herself. 

It was time to Not Give up So Easily.

It was time to allow herself to get vulnerable and really trust herself again.

And that is what she set out to do... 

This was the new seed she planted for the next season

of her life.