Ain't that a Shame...

 When she came home from her hike, 

She opened her phone and began to type in RC Blakes into youtube. 

RC Blakes was a pastor from New Orleans who preached a great deal about

Kings and Queens in the eyes of God. 

And how Kingdoms were constructed with the natural 

laws that God had ordained in all his Creation.

Today, the topic that popped up for her was one that she 

really needed to hear!!

 But she knew deep inside, that every time she really needed 

guidance, the right messages always found a way to reach her. 

She just had to ask and then be open to receive. 

Today's message spoke quite loud to her. 

It mentioned that a Queen never went back to or 

even gave time to a boy who shamed her.

 

Because a real man that loved and respected his woman

would never talk down, belittle, or disrespect his Queen 

like that. 

And when she heard RC Blakes speak those words, 

she knew immediately that her guardian angels were

sending her the message! 

And she was done questioning truths. 

She saw the truth right in front of her own eyes and this time

she took it and believed it with her whole heart. 

And she asked God to help her Purge from her heart and soul

the dishonor that she had done to herself and to forgive her 

for all that she had allowed to be done to her.

Then she asked God to take her off the hook through forgiveness..

And with that... 

She was free. 

Once and for all. 

The End... 

Be free with me...

 And there she was again. 

Back to square one. 

Back to that same starting place. 

She was getting so tired of this circle.

This cycle.

She didn't want to do it all over again.

And she made a vow to herself that no.. 

This time. 

She wasn't going to do it.

Any of it. 

She was done.

That road that she used to travel was

washed away by the flood of tears she had cried and cried.

That bridge connecting her to that same washed away

road had also caught fire and burned to the ground,

along with any other manipulative tactic her mind

had held onto for so many years!

As she sat at the table,

she tried hard not to let defeat take her hand

She didn't feel at one with defeat.

She wasn't defeated.

She knew that much.

Instead she felt that she had actually won,

because she had finally let go of all that 

never worked for her.

She was always selling herself short. 

She had much more to offer in this life then just 

the basic simple things she allowed herself to get 

carried away in. 

The New Moon in Sagittarius was coming up.

Jupiter was about to station direct...

And Thanksgiving was happening the day right after

all these glorious new beginnings where pulling in 

to happen. 

These were the hands that she wanted to grab.

They were the direction in which she really wanted 

to go next.

But before she could finally turn and take that first 

step forward...

She realized there was something still up in the air that 

she was afraid to address. 

Maybe she didn't want to admit that if she did finally 

address it, that it would no longer be... 

But reality was that it no longer was anymore anyways. 

And maybe it never even was before and it was all just her 

illusion delusion. 

But she decided that she was ready, finally. 

That she was going to really face it. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The words, "Stupid Bitch" Kept echoing in her mind

like a pendulum that swung back and forth.

She knew that they were just words, but somehow

they were words that echoed in her mind, heart and soul

for a lot longer then she liked to admit, even to herself.

She was a very strong full bodied woman... 

She knew that much. 

She knew that she was powerful and that words 

never hurt her.

But she also knew that she could be very prideful

and self sabotaging all at the same time.

And as she went back in her mind to the day 

that those words were spoken to her... 

She remembered exactly why they were said. 

As she tried to put it together for herself, 

once and for all, 

so that she could either

A) pack it up and ship it out..

Or

B) burn it up and let the wind take it where it belonged...

She reminded herself that most definitely 

This was not about accepting bad behavior. 

This was not about letting someone off the hook.

and most definitely that this was not about 

Blaming herself for what had occurred that day.

However, she knew that forgiveness was necessary not only 

from God and herself, but also for him.  

and with that... She knew she would be off the hook, 

so she could move forward.  

 So she took in a deep breath and she allowed her mind 

to really open up...

It was a Saturday Night... 

There was a Full Moon in the making... 

A Pisces Full Moon at that. 

Which of course represented Endings... 

And there she was, walking her life down a drain. 

okay, swimming down was more like it because she had 

become so addicted to alcohol 

and just washing down 

every emotion and feeling that ever tried to come up in her that   

she was definitely coming up to an ending of some sort for sure.

That night, her and her man had just went out and 

tried to watch an event together and even though it had 

ended in success, the rest of their night together did 

not match that same level of success. 

She had failed. 

Big time. 

The one thing she was supposed to learn in this life

was how to not give over her power and that night she 

failed. 

She realized now, two months later, 

and countless queen-ology lessons on 

femininity malfunction

that she had re-lived her karmic repeat yet again... 

Only this time, Her karmic partner was what she realized 

was also her key. 

But this is where she had to decide to be truthful..

With herself, with the universe, and even him,

 if he should ever care to know.

But she knew that was on him, not her. She didn't chase.

She knew her role. 

But as a queen, she also knew that being totally

 transparent and authentic was the only way to go.

And so she was going to be just that. 

She learned one fight too late that communication was the 

foundation for a relationship. 

And now that she was back to square one... 

She accepted her regrets... 

And she forgave herself for not knowing that 

she should have had enough self respect for herself

 to care about how she always felt in the now moments.

And she forgave herself for not being confident enough to share 

her feelings and emotions with someone she really did love and care about.

Only it didn't show because she knew very well that 

When a person couldn't love themselves, 

then they very well couldn't share love with another either. 

And this is what she had to face in herself. 

So she wrote it in her heart and

folded it up... 

And she gave it over to God. 

Just like that. 

Unchained Potential

After taking the bite from the poisoned apple...

The Princess dropped to the ground...

And fell into a deep sleep... 

She went into the underworld while in this deep sleep. 

It was nothing but a nightmare to say the least.

But what she didn't realize, is that there was no need 

for a Prince to come rescue her with a kiss. 

Of course this is what she had been told 

by the very witch that gave her the poisoned apple.

But it couldn't be more farther from the truth then 

it really truly revealed itself to be.

44 years later, she finally stopped long enough to see 

the truth.

The truth that all she had to do to wake up, 

was turn back to God. 

Her one true creator. 

And realize that he made her of ultimate value. 

And the only reason the wicked witch 

ever came to her with the poisoned fruit

was in deed because she had unresolved 

pain, shame, and bitterness from her own self destruction

that she didn't realize was up to her own relationship

with God and her self to heal.

The truth of this fairy tale that lives

 on and on 

life time after life time

generation after generation 

is the very fact that it was a curse. 

There was a group of men who wanted to take over God's place.

They wanted the world to see them as God

so that they could control the world to their benefit. 

And so the Perverted Toxic Male Society was created.

The ego works in this same way. 

And she realized that she had imprisoned herself 

with her own Perverted Toxic Masculine mindset

that drove her to rule over her own feminine reality!

In order to make earthly sense of this revelation 

that she had just revealed in herself, 

she was going to have to tell her story. 

Her testimony...

She had allowed herself to believe the lie

 that a woman's only value was in her Body;

 Lips, hips, and tips,

 as well as;

 in the sexual advantage she had over men 

who didn't even deserve her, 

 by holding onto 'the cookie'!

Unfortunately, that was actually a very shallow and carnal way 

of living and she knew it never excited her. 

That's why she made a game of it. 

But what she didn't realize was, this is exactly 

what they wanted. 

And by biting the apple, it took her down..

Into a deep sleep where she entered into  

the underworld. 

And that's where she 

hit rock bottom. 

At Rock bottom, she met her reflection..

The devil!

And when she took a turn dancing with the devil,

it was only then that she realized that she had turned from God.

 

Not realizing that by misunderstanding God's word 

and applying his words to her life in only a masculine mindset way,

was indeed the road away from God. 

Putting God on the cross was the poisoned fruit. 

The curse. 

The sin. 

And so in life, by putting God outside of herself, 

Only brought her closer to the devil, 

One step 

one day

one minute 

at a time. 

She realized she had put God into an image. 

A book called the bible. 

Churches.

Religion.

Even Positive and Negative Energy. 

So if something appeared wrong, she would judge and say

that's the devil, or that's evil.

But then when that same wrong came back around and it worked for others,

then she would be confused as to what was good and what was God.. 

And this is why she took the bite of the poisoned apple.

The confusion and wanting to know but also not to know too much. 

Was the key to the Toxic Perverted Masculine Culture.

So when she was in the underworld, 

dancing with the devil, 

she learned that God was the creator of both and all.

For her to be dancing with the devil 

meant that she was also of the devil but also of God. 

And the choice was up to her to decide

if she wanted to stay asleep and twirling downward...

But of course, couldn't go down any further then she already was, 

since she was dancing with the devil...

Or she could wake up to the fact that God was in her. 

In the very cells that made her.

And that who she was mattered. 

And she had a role. 

She had more value then she allowed herself to believe. 

It only took returning to the light,

 to God,

 and to begin to research with an open mind and heart the truth 

of who she truly was in God her creator.

And this was the true awakening of the deep sleep she had fallen under.

Because the true awakening of a Queen never came from the Kiss of Death! 

  

Rise above the Lie you can't live...

 The pressure was up... 

But everything else was down..

Her energy to move on was at a standstill,

especially since Mars had gone retrograde the day before.

For the rest of the year, she was going to be feeling 

this sluggish pull and she was really

concerned whether she was going to make it 

to the New Year or not.

She wished that she could just hibernate like the bear..

But then thought about it... 

how did they just sleep 

and sleep and sleep?

She could barely make it for an 8 hour of pure sleeping. 

She couldn't bare to think about sleeping all winter. 

So of course she was grateful that she was not a bear. 

But then her mind went back to her current thought. 

What was she doing? 

What was her plan?

Did she even have one?

For the strategic that she was known to be, 

she was finally starting to accept the fact 

that she really didn't trust her planning anymore.

She realized that in the past when she made plans, 

Most of the time, it was coming from a place of fear. 

A place of outside expectation.

A place of worry that something bad would happen

if she didn't do, go, or get... 

But maybe this is why Mars had decided to go retrograde.

Especially at this critical moment in her life.

Where decisions needed to be made...

But she had given up her Karmic patterns.

Her karmic loops.

Her karmic repeats.

And so, it made much sense that with the help of 

the universe, she would finally be able to cut herself free!

But what was she trying to cut herself free from?

What Karmic pattern?

Well, with Jupiter's help, and of course all the other planets as well, 

She realized that in her life there was always something

that she thought would work, if she just did it right.

And so year after year, she tried to make a life for 

herself. 

One where she would get a job, a car, a man, and a place to 

live together, helping each other out, 

all the while trying to enjoy the fruits of the so called 

life that they worked together to maintain. 

However, no matter who she was with, or if she was alone and

independent, things never seemed to work out 

the way people claimed it to be. 

Everyone was flowing, but things never flowed for her.

No matter if she worked a bank job, a store job, 

an office job, a warehouse job... 

She never had enough money to pay even 

the lowest amounts of bill expectations. 

She would put in hours upon hours to 

overtime, yet still had not enough to pay all the bills.

How was life not working for her, when 

countless others where so happy and free?

She couldn't quite understand this cycle that kept 

her spinning downward.

She really must have gotten something completely messed up

in her thinking in order to keep failing like this. 

And then she remembered the words,

Deferred Hope...

She had heard those words when she first began going to church

back in her 20's right before she got pregnant and then got married. 

This word Hope Deferred had just come back up to her in her Queen-ology

studies and she realized a message that was trying to come through.

All this time, all these karmic repeats...

Was all because she had believed something to be true

outside of asking God what he thought.

She never realized that by watching other people's lives

and actions and successes... 

And then wanting to recreate it for herself, 

was the very reason why it never worked for her. 

This was the Law of Envy. 

Wanting what another had not realizing and being grateful for what 

God had already given her.  

It was like the story of the Peacock and the Crow. 

The Crow wanting to be beautiful and happy like the peacock

with it's beautiful feathers... Yet overlooking the fact that

his own gift of intelligence was something of great value already.

He just failed to discover it because he was too busy

focused on how to obtain what God had given the peacock.

So for her, wanting a family and a flowing life with a job, and a house, and a man,

Was all great, if only she would first understand

that God came first. That in order to even know

who she truly was, she had to ask God for the revelation.

And with that revelation she could take her next steps.

and so.. 

The Greatest Poison...

 As she was learning more about her Queen-ology this morning,

a revelation came to her mind. 

RC Blakes had read a bible verse that spoke the words,

"Do not be unequally yoked."

As soon as she heard the words, a vision popped up

in the front of her mind.

A Movie..

The man in the Iron Mask.

As she was going through the story in her mind...

Trying to figure out what relevance it had to being unequally yoked..

 She remembered first, that in the beginning of the movie they showed

the fact that Paris was going to Hell with their new King Louis. 

But as she went deeper into the movie, she uncovered something hidden. 

A secret that totally changed the course of their King's reign.

The Queen mother, had fallen for one of the Knights of the castle. 

Now of course, this wasn't just any knight... 

This was the Head of the Three Musketeers!

So she at least chose the most suitable knight to fornicate with.

However, the truth still remained... 

He was just a Knight. 

He was not equal in rank to the Queen. 

A Queen needed a King to produce strong honest heirs. 

Why? 

Because the Ambition and Vision are very different 

for a knight and a King. 

The Knight can not be King and protect both 

the castle and his Wife. 

He would have to abdicate his throne.

So...

 There it was... 

The Pain of having to keep a secret... 

The Poison of having to conceal a lie within them.

And from that deception came the consequences of their own self deceit.

The twins.

The split in the flow of life. 

One of the brothers was of God... 

Wanting Love.

The other brother was of Fear...

wanting Power thru Lies.

And she realized that her own life had been no different. 

She was always falling for knights. 

Men who protected her, but then fought with her all because 

every time she tried to awaken to her truth as Queen, they wanted to 

keep her with them at their level.

But what she was also beginning to realize now as she was

able to truly awaken, 

Is that these knights didn't belong to her castle.

They weren't even musketeers! 

They were just trying to use her for her gift of 

Unconditional Love. 

Well that and her money and car and bed. 

You name it, they were all up in it. 

Her time, her energy... 

yup..

All of it was just going down a drain. 

Until she finally woke up. 

And now, she was awake and ready..

 Ready to walk to her Throne

 and...

 Own it!