Up or Down?

 There was a lot opening up in her... and sometimes

she felt like she just needed to step back

and allow it all to just do it's thing. 

Unfold...

It was working in it's own divine timing anyways,

just like everything in life was supposed to.

Just as this blog she was piecing together.

it was her story.

Her proof.

Her legacy.

For one day...

Most people looked at her like she was just a 

clueless little blonde.

And to her, that was okay. 

She wasn't here to work hard at proving who she was or wasn't.

She was here living this life at every angle possible

to discover all the truths and secrets she came here

to learn and reveal. 

One thing she learned was that a person

definitely needed to be brave enough to remain open

in order to find the golden nuggets of this planet.

Most people just took what other people or religion put on them

and they were satisfied with that. 

But not her. 

She wanted to seek out all that never made sense.

The very stuff that people held tightly on to yet

never really dug deep into their own truths. 

She wasn't up for the game of self deception. 

She wanted to find her truth at all cost!

But only with God at her side. 

And here she was today...

Rising upon that success slowly yet surely.

But before success could be fully achieved, she still had 

a little more learning and exploring to do. 

She found out that there was a way to compare charts.

Natal charts. 

Yes, to those who wonder... 

She was indeed, learning the art of reading natal charts and 

the energies that were available to the people in 

order to heal and level up in their soul's journey.

This was all a part of her purpose.

Her fun.

But for now, she wanted to speak of her new found interest.

Reading those lovely synastry and composite charts.

In simple English, these are basic natal charts that get 

overlapped on top of another persons chart to see the connection 

of the two energies and planets in a relationship. 

It could show signs of past life connections to a person.

It could show whether a person was

 a lover, an enemy, a friend, or an acquaintance in a past life .

 It could also show the karma between the two people.

Their karma that needed to be worked out in this life.

 Karma was of course Pluto territory, 

making those relationships

 Plutonic... 

Not Platonic..

Pluto was the planet that gave us the choice to go from

either positive energy or negative energy. 

From either Love or Fear.

Pluto was our power distributor!

She liked to joke in her head that Pluto was almost 

like St. Peter at the pearly gates opening a door

for a person based on their decision... 

So...

If someone chose to go from a place of fear 

when making decisions, Pluto, 

opened up the gates of Hell and allowed Hades, the Lord of the Underworld, 

 to handle the transaction!

However, if a person went from a place of love, 

Love for self and love and peace for others, then Pluto would

Open the gate to heaven and allow God to help

in that deed. 

However, 99.9% of the time, sin won the battles of this earth.

Man and woman always chose from a place of fear.

Yet, what she found pretty interesting is how the men and women

on Earth fooled themselves into thinking and believing that 

positive results would come from negative decisions! 

Even when sicknesses arose, and doctors couldn't 

figure them out... The people never could quite 

put it all together... and they all fell into victimhood

which lead them into the hands of sorcery...

But she couldn't settle for that. 

Not one bit. 

She was not about to give in or die,

 knowing that there was more truths 

to be found. 

And that is why she went on this journey...

For the longest time!

Be free with me...

 And there she was again. 

Back to square one. 

Back to that same starting place. 

She was getting so tired of this circle.

This cycle.

She didn't want to do it all over again.

And she made a vow to herself that no.. 

This time. 

She wasn't going to do it.

Any of it. 

She was done.

That road that she used to travel was

washed away by the flood of tears she had cried and cried.

That bridge connecting her to that same washed away

road had also caught fire and burned to the ground,

along with any other manipulative tactic her mind

had held onto for so many years!

As she sat at the table,

she tried hard not to let defeat take her hand

She didn't feel at one with defeat.

She wasn't defeated.

She knew that much.

Instead she felt that she had actually won,

because she had finally let go of all that 

never worked for her.

She was always selling herself short. 

She had much more to offer in this life then just 

the basic simple things she allowed herself to get 

carried away in. 

The New Moon in Sagittarius was coming up.

Jupiter was about to station direct...

And Thanksgiving was happening the day right after

all these glorious new beginnings where pulling in 

to happen. 

These were the hands that she wanted to grab.

They were the direction in which she really wanted 

to go next.

But before she could finally turn and take that first 

step forward...

She realized there was something still up in the air that 

she was afraid to address. 

Maybe she didn't want to admit that if she did finally 

address it, that it would no longer be... 

But reality was that it no longer was anymore anyways. 

And maybe it never even was before and it was all just her 

illusion delusion. 

But she decided that she was ready, finally. 

That she was going to really face it. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The words, "Stupid Bitch" Kept echoing in her mind

like a pendulum that swung back and forth.

She knew that they were just words, but somehow

they were words that echoed in her mind, heart and soul

for a lot longer then she liked to admit, even to herself.

She was a very strong full bodied woman... 

She knew that much. 

She knew that she was powerful and that words 

never hurt her.

But she also knew that she could be very prideful

and self sabotaging all at the same time.

And as she went back in her mind to the day 

that those words were spoken to her... 

She remembered exactly why they were said. 

As she tried to put it together for herself, 

once and for all, 

so that she could either

A) pack it up and ship it out..

Or

B) burn it up and let the wind take it where it belonged...

She reminded herself that most definitely 

This was not about accepting bad behavior. 

This was not about letting someone off the hook.

and most definitely that this was not about 

Blaming herself for what had occurred that day.

However, she knew that forgiveness was necessary not only 

from God and herself, but also for him.  

and with that... She knew she would be off the hook, 

so she could move forward.  

 So she took in a deep breath and she allowed her mind 

to really open up...

It was a Saturday Night... 

There was a Full Moon in the making... 

A Pisces Full Moon at that. 

Which of course represented Endings... 

And there she was, walking her life down a drain. 

okay, swimming down was more like it because she had 

become so addicted to alcohol 

and just washing down 

every emotion and feeling that ever tried to come up in her that   

she was definitely coming up to an ending of some sort for sure.

That night, her and her man had just went out and 

tried to watch an event together and even though it had 

ended in success, the rest of their night together did 

not match that same level of success. 

She had failed. 

Big time. 

The one thing she was supposed to learn in this life

was how to not give over her power and that night she 

failed. 

She realized now, two months later, 

and countless queen-ology lessons on 

femininity malfunction

that she had re-lived her karmic repeat yet again... 

Only this time, Her karmic partner was what she realized 

was also her key. 

But this is where she had to decide to be truthful..

With herself, with the universe, and even him,

 if he should ever care to know.

But she knew that was on him, not her. She didn't chase.

She knew her role. 

But as a queen, she also knew that being totally

 transparent and authentic was the only way to go.

And so she was going to be just that. 

She learned one fight too late that communication was the 

foundation for a relationship. 

And now that she was back to square one... 

She accepted her regrets... 

And she forgave herself for not knowing that 

she should have had enough self respect for herself

 to care about how she always felt in the now moments.

And she forgave herself for not being confident enough to share 

her feelings and emotions with someone she really did love and care about.

Only it didn't show because she knew very well that 

When a person couldn't love themselves, 

then they very well couldn't share love with another either. 

And this is what she had to face in herself. 

So she wrote it in her heart and

folded it up... 

And she gave it over to God. 

Just like that. 

Unchained Potential

After taking the bite from the poisoned apple...

The Princess dropped to the ground...

And fell into a deep sleep... 

She went into the underworld while in this deep sleep. 

It was nothing but a nightmare to say the least.

But what she didn't realize, is that there was no need 

for a Prince to come rescue her with a kiss. 

Of course this is what she had been told 

by the very witch that gave her the poisoned apple.

But it couldn't be more farther from the truth then 

it really truly revealed itself to be.

44 years later, she finally stopped long enough to see 

the truth.

The truth that all she had to do to wake up, 

was turn back to God. 

Her one true creator. 

And realize that he made her of ultimate value. 

And the only reason the wicked witch 

ever came to her with the poisoned fruit

was in deed because she had unresolved 

pain, shame, and bitterness from her own self destruction

that she didn't realize was up to her own relationship

with God and her self to heal.

The truth of this fairy tale that lives

 on and on 

life time after life time

generation after generation 

is the very fact that it was a curse. 

There was a group of men who wanted to take over God's place.

They wanted the world to see them as God

so that they could control the world to their benefit. 

And so the Perverted Toxic Male Society was created.

The ego works in this same way. 

And she realized that she had imprisoned herself 

with her own Perverted Toxic Masculine mindset

that drove her to rule over her own feminine reality!

In order to make earthly sense of this revelation 

that she had just revealed in herself, 

she was going to have to tell her story. 

Her testimony...

She had allowed herself to believe the lie

 that a woman's only value was in her Body;

 Lips, hips, and tips,

 as well as;

 in the sexual advantage she had over men 

who didn't even deserve her, 

 by holding onto 'the cookie'!

Unfortunately, that was actually a very shallow and carnal way 

of living and she knew it never excited her. 

That's why she made a game of it. 

But what she didn't realize was, this is exactly 

what they wanted. 

And by biting the apple, it took her down..

Into a deep sleep where she entered into  

the underworld. 

And that's where she 

hit rock bottom. 

At Rock bottom, she met her reflection..

The devil!

And when she took a turn dancing with the devil,

it was only then that she realized that she had turned from God.

 

Not realizing that by misunderstanding God's word 

and applying his words to her life in only a masculine mindset way,

was indeed the road away from God. 

Putting God on the cross was the poisoned fruit. 

The curse. 

The sin. 

And so in life, by putting God outside of herself, 

Only brought her closer to the devil, 

One step 

one day

one minute 

at a time. 

She realized she had put God into an image. 

A book called the bible. 

Churches.

Religion.

Even Positive and Negative Energy. 

So if something appeared wrong, she would judge and say

that's the devil, or that's evil.

But then when that same wrong came back around and it worked for others,

then she would be confused as to what was good and what was God.. 

And this is why she took the bite of the poisoned apple.

The confusion and wanting to know but also not to know too much. 

Was the key to the Toxic Perverted Masculine Culture.

So when she was in the underworld, 

dancing with the devil, 

she learned that God was the creator of both and all.

For her to be dancing with the devil 

meant that she was also of the devil but also of God. 

And the choice was up to her to decide

if she wanted to stay asleep and twirling downward...

But of course, couldn't go down any further then she already was, 

since she was dancing with the devil...

Or she could wake up to the fact that God was in her. 

In the very cells that made her.

And that who she was mattered. 

And she had a role. 

She had more value then she allowed herself to believe. 

It only took returning to the light,

 to God,

 and to begin to research with an open mind and heart the truth 

of who she truly was in God her creator.

And this was the true awakening of the deep sleep she had fallen under.

Because the true awakening of a Queen never came from the Kiss of Death! 

  

It's in the little things...

 The little Asian Lady Beetle called over to her in the kitchen.

She doesn't know how she is able to hear them, she just does. 

And in a way, it's not a sound so much as an intuitive nudge really. 

but back to the story at hand.. 

As she walked over to the little Lady, she asked her, 

"What message have you for me today, dear sweet one?"

And as she looked into her meaning and then connected with

her intuition, she saw an image. 

The Image said HoMe.

--------***---------

She had been walking down town earlier that evening

and had came upon an intersection...

To her right was a building with the word 'Home'

Glowing in bright Red on it...

But all she could focus on was how part of the 'M'

wasn't glowing correctly... 

Then she looked to the left... 

and the vision looked enticing... 

Yet, when she actually did go across the street to 

explore the enticing area, she immediately felt a chill.

The darkness. The loneliness... The Emptiness.

Without the glow of a Home, there really was nothing 

enticing about the street she chose to explore.

So she turned around and began to walk back to her car..

As she drove home, she asked herself... 

What is home to me? 

Did she feel like she was at home where she was in life?

----***----

And so now, there she stood in her kitchen, 

 Talking to an Asian Lady Beetle... 

Plus the Rat family that lived in the walls. 

And She asked again... "What really is HoME to me?"

But to come to an answer to that question, she had 

some more meditating to do cuz nothing was coming up. 

As she was looking into the Asian Lady Beetle a little more online,

She learned that they really are not like the regular ladybugs. 

These Asian Lady's have an M on their head.

And they are not as sweet as Ladybugs were. 

As her mind began to spin at the very thought of 

what God was trying to say to her with such contradictions.

She thought about what had just happened to her 

as she was taking her walk plus the run in with this 

magnificent creature of God.

She tried to put two and two together for herself;

'M' on the LADY Asian Beetle. 

The 'M' in the word HoME being flawed.

and then Boom! there it was...

Her choosing the wrong paths always. 

Not feeling at home where she was. 

The light had finally come on!

The M represented her Masculine Energy. 

Here she was studying to be a Queen yet she was still 

letting her mind lead.

The fact that every time she made a decision, 

she only used her masculine brain, was what left her

in the cold dark emptiness all the time 

because it wasn't connected to 

her heart!

And HoME is where the Heart is! 

So where was her heart? 

Now that...

is something that she was going to have to really dig deep for...

The Greatest Poison...

 As she was learning more about her Queen-ology this morning,

a revelation came to her mind. 

RC Blakes had read a bible verse that spoke the words,

"Do not be unequally yoked."

As soon as she heard the words, a vision popped up

in the front of her mind.

A Movie..

The man in the Iron Mask.

As she was going through the story in her mind...

Trying to figure out what relevance it had to being unequally yoked..

 She remembered first, that in the beginning of the movie they showed

the fact that Paris was going to Hell with their new King Louis. 

But as she went deeper into the movie, she uncovered something hidden. 

A secret that totally changed the course of their King's reign.

The Queen mother, had fallen for one of the Knights of the castle. 

Now of course, this wasn't just any knight... 

This was the Head of the Three Musketeers!

So she at least chose the most suitable knight to fornicate with.

However, the truth still remained... 

He was just a Knight. 

He was not equal in rank to the Queen. 

A Queen needed a King to produce strong honest heirs. 

Why? 

Because the Ambition and Vision are very different 

for a knight and a King. 

The Knight can not be King and protect both 

the castle and his Wife. 

He would have to abdicate his throne.

So...

 There it was... 

The Pain of having to keep a secret... 

The Poison of having to conceal a lie within them.

And from that deception came the consequences of their own self deceit.

The twins.

The split in the flow of life. 

One of the brothers was of God... 

Wanting Love.

The other brother was of Fear...

wanting Power thru Lies.

And she realized that her own life had been no different. 

She was always falling for knights. 

Men who protected her, but then fought with her all because 

every time she tried to awaken to her truth as Queen, they wanted to 

keep her with them at their level.

But what she was also beginning to realize now as she was

able to truly awaken, 

Is that these knights didn't belong to her castle.

They weren't even musketeers! 

They were just trying to use her for her gift of 

Unconditional Love. 

Well that and her money and car and bed. 

You name it, they were all up in it. 

Her time, her energy... 

yup..

All of it was just going down a drain. 

Until she finally woke up. 

And now, she was awake and ready..

 Ready to walk to her Throne

 and...

 Own it!