Ain't that a Shame...

 When she came home from her hike, 

She opened her phone and began to type in RC Blakes into youtube. 

RC Blakes was a pastor from New Orleans who preached a great deal about

Kings and Queens in the eyes of God. 

And how Kingdoms were constructed with the natural 

laws that God had ordained in all his Creation.

Today, the topic that popped up for her was one that she 

really needed to hear!!

 But she knew deep inside, that every time she really needed 

guidance, the right messages always found a way to reach her. 

She just had to ask and then be open to receive. 

Today's message spoke quite loud to her. 

It mentioned that a Queen never went back to or 

even gave time to a boy who shamed her.

 

Because a real man that loved and respected his woman

would never talk down, belittle, or disrespect his Queen 

like that. 

And when she heard RC Blakes speak those words, 

she knew immediately that her guardian angels were

sending her the message! 

And she was done questioning truths. 

She saw the truth right in front of her own eyes and this time

she took it and believed it with her whole heart. 

And she asked God to help her Purge from her heart and soul

the dishonor that she had done to herself and to forgive her 

for all that she had allowed to be done to her.

Then she asked God to take her off the hook through forgiveness..

And with that... 

She was free. 

Once and for all. 

The End... 

Be free with me...

 And there she was again. 

Back to square one. 

Back to that same starting place. 

She was getting so tired of this circle.

This cycle.

She didn't want to do it all over again.

And she made a vow to herself that no.. 

This time. 

She wasn't going to do it.

Any of it. 

She was done.

That road that she used to travel was

washed away by the flood of tears she had cried and cried.

That bridge connecting her to that same washed away

road had also caught fire and burned to the ground,

along with any other manipulative tactic her mind

had held onto for so many years!

As she sat at the table,

she tried hard not to let defeat take her hand

She didn't feel at one with defeat.

She wasn't defeated.

She knew that much.

Instead she felt that she had actually won,

because she had finally let go of all that 

never worked for her.

She was always selling herself short. 

She had much more to offer in this life then just 

the basic simple things she allowed herself to get 

carried away in. 

The New Moon in Sagittarius was coming up.

Jupiter was about to station direct...

And Thanksgiving was happening the day right after

all these glorious new beginnings where pulling in 

to happen. 

These were the hands that she wanted to grab.

They were the direction in which she really wanted 

to go next.

But before she could finally turn and take that first 

step forward...

She realized there was something still up in the air that 

she was afraid to address. 

Maybe she didn't want to admit that if she did finally 

address it, that it would no longer be... 

But reality was that it no longer was anymore anyways. 

And maybe it never even was before and it was all just her 

illusion delusion. 

But she decided that she was ready, finally. 

That she was going to really face it. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------

The words, "Stupid Bitch" Kept echoing in her mind

like a pendulum that swung back and forth.

She knew that they were just words, but somehow

they were words that echoed in her mind, heart and soul

for a lot longer then she liked to admit, even to herself.

She was a very strong full bodied woman... 

She knew that much. 

She knew that she was powerful and that words 

never hurt her.

But she also knew that she could be very prideful

and self sabotaging all at the same time.

And as she went back in her mind to the day 

that those words were spoken to her... 

She remembered exactly why they were said. 

As she tried to put it together for herself, 

once and for all, 

so that she could either

A) pack it up and ship it out..

Or

B) burn it up and let the wind take it where it belonged...

She reminded herself that most definitely 

This was not about accepting bad behavior. 

This was not about letting someone off the hook.

and most definitely that this was not about 

Blaming herself for what had occurred that day.

However, she knew that forgiveness was necessary not only 

from God and herself, but also for him.  

and with that... She knew she would be off the hook, 

so she could move forward.  

 So she took in a deep breath and she allowed her mind 

to really open up...

It was a Saturday Night... 

There was a Full Moon in the making... 

A Pisces Full Moon at that. 

Which of course represented Endings... 

And there she was, walking her life down a drain. 

okay, swimming down was more like it because she had 

become so addicted to alcohol 

and just washing down 

every emotion and feeling that ever tried to come up in her that   

she was definitely coming up to an ending of some sort for sure.

That night, her and her man had just went out and 

tried to watch an event together and even though it had 

ended in success, the rest of their night together did 

not match that same level of success. 

She had failed. 

Big time. 

The one thing she was supposed to learn in this life

was how to not give over her power and that night she 

failed. 

She realized now, two months later, 

and countless queen-ology lessons on 

femininity malfunction

that she had re-lived her karmic repeat yet again... 

Only this time, Her karmic partner was what she realized 

was also her key. 

But this is where she had to decide to be truthful..

With herself, with the universe, and even him,

 if he should ever care to know.

But she knew that was on him, not her. She didn't chase.

She knew her role. 

But as a queen, she also knew that being totally

 transparent and authentic was the only way to go.

And so she was going to be just that. 

She learned one fight too late that communication was the 

foundation for a relationship. 

And now that she was back to square one... 

She accepted her regrets... 

And she forgave herself for not knowing that 

she should have had enough self respect for herself

 to care about how she always felt in the now moments.

And she forgave herself for not being confident enough to share 

her feelings and emotions with someone she really did love and care about.

Only it didn't show because she knew very well that 

When a person couldn't love themselves, 

then they very well couldn't share love with another either. 

And this is what she had to face in herself. 

So she wrote it in her heart and

folded it up... 

And she gave it over to God. 

Just like that. 

Unchained Potential

After taking the bite from the poisoned apple...

The Princess dropped to the ground...

And fell into a deep sleep... 

She went into the underworld while in this deep sleep. 

It was nothing but a nightmare to say the least.

But what she didn't realize, is that there was no need 

for a Prince to come rescue her with a kiss. 

Of course this is what she had been told 

by the very witch that gave her the poisoned apple.

But it couldn't be more farther from the truth then 

it really truly revealed itself to be.

44 years later, she finally stopped long enough to see 

the truth.

The truth that all she had to do to wake up, 

was turn back to God. 

Her one true creator. 

And realize that he made her of ultimate value. 

And the only reason the wicked witch 

ever came to her with the poisoned fruit

was in deed because she had unresolved 

pain, shame, and bitterness from her own self destruction

that she didn't realize was up to her own relationship

with God and her self to heal.

The truth of this fairy tale that lives

 on and on 

life time after life time

generation after generation 

is the very fact that it was a curse. 

There was a group of men who wanted to take over God's place.

They wanted the world to see them as God

so that they could control the world to their benefit. 

And so the Perverted Toxic Male Society was created.

The ego works in this same way. 

And she realized that she had imprisoned herself 

with her own Perverted Toxic Masculine mindset

that drove her to rule over her own feminine reality!

In order to make earthly sense of this revelation 

that she had just revealed in herself, 

she was going to have to tell her story. 

Her testimony...

She had allowed herself to believe the lie

 that a woman's only value was in her Body;

 Lips, hips, and tips,

 as well as;

 in the sexual advantage she had over men 

who didn't even deserve her, 

 by holding onto 'the cookie'!

Unfortunately, that was actually a very shallow and carnal way 

of living and she knew it never excited her. 

That's why she made a game of it. 

But what she didn't realize was, this is exactly 

what they wanted. 

And by biting the apple, it took her down..

Into a deep sleep where she entered into  

the underworld. 

And that's where she 

hit rock bottom. 

At Rock bottom, she met her reflection..

The devil!

And when she took a turn dancing with the devil,

it was only then that she realized that she had turned from God.

 

Not realizing that by misunderstanding God's word 

and applying his words to her life in only a masculine mindset way,

was indeed the road away from God. 

Putting God on the cross was the poisoned fruit. 

The curse. 

The sin. 

And so in life, by putting God outside of herself, 

Only brought her closer to the devil, 

One step 

one day

one minute 

at a time. 

She realized she had put God into an image. 

A book called the bible. 

Churches.

Religion.

Even Positive and Negative Energy. 

So if something appeared wrong, she would judge and say

that's the devil, or that's evil.

But then when that same wrong came back around and it worked for others,

then she would be confused as to what was good and what was God.. 

And this is why she took the bite of the poisoned apple.

The confusion and wanting to know but also not to know too much. 

Was the key to the Toxic Perverted Masculine Culture.

So when she was in the underworld, 

dancing with the devil, 

she learned that God was the creator of both and all.

For her to be dancing with the devil 

meant that she was also of the devil but also of God. 

And the choice was up to her to decide

if she wanted to stay asleep and twirling downward...

But of course, couldn't go down any further then she already was, 

since she was dancing with the devil...

Or she could wake up to the fact that God was in her. 

In the very cells that made her.

And that who she was mattered. 

And she had a role. 

She had more value then she allowed herself to believe. 

It only took returning to the light,

 to God,

 and to begin to research with an open mind and heart the truth 

of who she truly was in God her creator.

And this was the true awakening of the deep sleep she had fallen under.

Because the true awakening of a Queen never came from the Kiss of Death! 

  

It's in the little things...

 The little Asian Lady Beetle called over to her in the kitchen.

She doesn't know how she is able to hear them, she just does. 

And in a way, it's not a sound so much as an intuitive nudge really. 

but back to the story at hand.. 

As she walked over to the little Lady, she asked her, 

"What message have you for me today, dear sweet one?"

And as she looked into her meaning and then connected with

her intuition, she saw an image. 

The Image said HoMe.

--------***---------

She had been walking down town earlier that evening

and had came upon an intersection...

To her right was a building with the word 'Home'

Glowing in bright Red on it...

But all she could focus on was how part of the 'M'

wasn't glowing correctly... 

Then she looked to the left... 

and the vision looked enticing... 

Yet, when she actually did go across the street to 

explore the enticing area, she immediately felt a chill.

The darkness. The loneliness... The Emptiness.

Without the glow of a Home, there really was nothing 

enticing about the street she chose to explore.

So she turned around and began to walk back to her car..

As she drove home, she asked herself... 

What is home to me? 

Did she feel like she was at home where she was in life?

----***----

And so now, there she stood in her kitchen, 

 Talking to an Asian Lady Beetle... 

Plus the Rat family that lived in the walls. 

And She asked again... "What really is HoME to me?"

But to come to an answer to that question, she had 

some more meditating to do cuz nothing was coming up. 

As she was looking into the Asian Lady Beetle a little more online,

She learned that they really are not like the regular ladybugs. 

These Asian Lady's have an M on their head.

And they are not as sweet as Ladybugs were. 

As her mind began to spin at the very thought of 

what God was trying to say to her with such contradictions.

She thought about what had just happened to her 

as she was taking her walk plus the run in with this 

magnificent creature of God.

She tried to put two and two together for herself;

'M' on the LADY Asian Beetle. 

The 'M' in the word HoME being flawed.

and then Boom! there it was...

Her choosing the wrong paths always. 

Not feeling at home where she was. 

The light had finally come on!

The M represented her Masculine Energy. 

Here she was studying to be a Queen yet she was still 

letting her mind lead.

The fact that every time she made a decision, 

she only used her masculine brain, was what left her

in the cold dark emptiness all the time 

because it wasn't connected to 

her heart!

And HoME is where the Heart is! 

So where was her heart? 

Now that...

is something that she was going to have to really dig deep for...

The Greatest Poison...

 As she was learning more about her Queen-ology this morning,

a revelation came to her mind. 

RC Blakes had read a bible verse that spoke the words,

"Do not be unequally yoked."

As soon as she heard the words, a vision popped up

in the front of her mind.

A Movie..

The man in the Iron Mask.

As she was going through the story in her mind...

Trying to figure out what relevance it had to being unequally yoked..

 She remembered first, that in the beginning of the movie they showed

the fact that Paris was going to Hell with their new King Louis. 

But as she went deeper into the movie, she uncovered something hidden. 

A secret that totally changed the course of their King's reign.

The Queen mother, had fallen for one of the Knights of the castle. 

Now of course, this wasn't just any knight... 

This was the Head of the Three Musketeers!

So she at least chose the most suitable knight to fornicate with.

However, the truth still remained... 

He was just a Knight. 

He was not equal in rank to the Queen. 

A Queen needed a King to produce strong honest heirs. 

Why? 

Because the Ambition and Vision are very different 

for a knight and a King. 

The Knight can not be King and protect both 

the castle and his Wife. 

He would have to abdicate his throne.

So...

 There it was... 

The Pain of having to keep a secret... 

The Poison of having to conceal a lie within them.

And from that deception came the consequences of their own self deceit.

The twins.

The split in the flow of life. 

One of the brothers was of God... 

Wanting Love.

The other brother was of Fear...

wanting Power thru Lies.

And she realized that her own life had been no different. 

She was always falling for knights. 

Men who protected her, but then fought with her all because 

every time she tried to awaken to her truth as Queen, they wanted to 

keep her with them at their level.

But what she was also beginning to realize now as she was

able to truly awaken, 

Is that these knights didn't belong to her castle.

They weren't even musketeers! 

They were just trying to use her for her gift of 

Unconditional Love. 

Well that and her money and car and bed. 

You name it, they were all up in it. 

Her time, her energy... 

yup..

All of it was just going down a drain. 

Until she finally woke up. 

And now, she was awake and ready..

 Ready to walk to her Throne

 and...

 Own it! 

The Soul on Fire in Heaven

 She woke up the next morning and the first thing that popped into her mind was,

The beer she drank 2 hours before going to bed. 

She didn't even catch on to it running through her mind 

until she was washing her hands after going to the bathroom. 

As she looked in the mirror, she saw a disappointed face 

looking back at her. Her mind kept repeating,

Shouldn't have drank last night. 

And as she turned from the mirror, something clicked in her... 

Why was she abusing herself with such negative thinking? 

Where did this come from?

And that's when she lit up inside... 

A spark went off and a positive energy rose up in her. 

She took a self evaluation.. 

She felt fine. 

She slept fine.

She even woke up at a fine hour. 

And she was feeling really good about getting her coffee

and then doing her morning meditation and study with RC Blakes. 

So where was this negative criticism about having a beer come from?

It surely was not what she truly felt and thought. 

So she knew it was words she had heard from others before. 

And she realized that before doing her Queenology work, 

she used to fall prey easily to these types of negative word spells 

because she did not have her identity intact. 

She did not know herself through the eyes of God. 

She did not know her worth was in God and not in the acceptance or approval of others.

But now that she did know all this... 

She realized that these words in her head were not her own. 

And so she cast them out

,

 just like that!

 She knew who she was. 

She knew how she wanted to live and what was good and right for her.

She felt great! She was healthy, She was in great shape. 

There was no need for her to abuse herself with these critical thoughts.

And so she stopped them right then and there and she thanked God 

for this awakening!

Later that morning as she was doing her studies, 

she had another breakthrough!.

God was really doing miracles within her!

Her soul was so lit up, she thought she was going to burst into flames!

Clearly, her candle never burn-eth out!

She learned that morning that the reason those negative thoughts

were always with her, even when she wasn't doing anything wrong, 

was because she had unconsciously accepted a false belief as her own.  

When RC Blakes spoke of the Signs of a Sick soul, during her morning studies, 

the first sign broke the mold for her!

It went something like this;

Your soul is sick when you decide to move away from the known will

of God. 

And at first, she had to pause the video and really ponder what those words 

resonated in her. 

And there it was! 

Her breakthrough!

Being born into dependency on Mom and Dad is the reason we are born Sinners!

It is a sin to be dependent on anyone other than God. 

This is why the bible states to Honor thy mother and father, but it does not say

to make them and their ways as God's Truth, which is Love.

 When you are old enough to be 

Reborn,

 it means going back to the true creator of you. And that is the God that 

 gave you a soul and a spirit! 

RC Blakes also went on to explain the Soul and Spirit in a very clear way.

He said;

The Soul is

 the Mind,(the way we think)

 the Will,(the way we choose)

 and 

 the Emotions,(the way we feel)

The Spirit is

the part of you that is Divine.

the part of you that comes from God.

the part that God communicates with you.

The Soul is where choices and decisions are facilitated. 

The body is where the soul and spirit reside.

A soul-tie happens in the season when the soul is out of balance with the Spirit. 

and when the soul is sick, the individual's life is poisoned!

And so when she began to really allow all this to open up inside her, she realized

that the reason she had these negative thoughts buried deep within her as truths, 

was in fact because when she was a little girl, she was taught through her dependency

that mom and dad were the ultimate approval sources of her life and existence.

That their ways of living and being was the only way to really be. 

But this was a false and limiting belief that she had unconsciously accepted.

Until now. 

She felt such a huge cloud clearing from her view once she accepted her real 

truth. 

That God never left her! 

And that she just never got to know him 

because she had thought that he was in the approval of others and the world. 

And so she thanked God for this revelation that opened up in her.

And she continued her day with more vibrant energy then she ever felt possible!

Don't Mind Me?

 She knew she was not flowing in the life 

that she was currently trying to make herself live. 

Yet, she pushed herself every day to go thru the same cycles. 

Like a merry go round. 

It's always fun at first until the motion 

becomes too much within 

and you get that nauseous feeling inside.

And she knew, finally, since she had begun her spiritual journey,

that nausea was indeed a rejection of the flow of life.

And so if her being on this round and round spin in her own life was making her sick...

she knew somewhere she had gone against the flow in her life. 

So she asked the holy spirit for help. 

RC Blakes was brought to her awareness almost instantly!

RC Blakes is a pastor that spoke of God and the bible

 in a way that she was actually able to understand. 

She had gone to numerous churches in her life and met many pastors

and religious clergy but none that ever seemed to make any sense to her.

But she couldn't find RC Blakes until she was true and honest to her own self.

To her own heart and soul. 

She was spiritual.

As much as people wanted to tell her that spirituality was all 

witchcraft,

 she couldn't understand why she didn't see it that way.

Until now. 

But it took years... 

Her journey began almost 13 years ago!

But here she was still striving. 

Still trying and still learning. 

Today she learned all about her mind set. 

She learned that she had been dwelling for the longest time bouncing

between two different types of mind sets... 

And both of them didn't produce anything but that merry go round effect

that she was so familiar with now and so sick of...

She wanted a change. 

She was ready for a change.

And she was ready to take any and all actions necessary to get there.

So... the first thing she learned was that she needed to acknowledge the two 

limited mind sets that she had been hopping between. 

The first mindset was where she was focused on the DEAD PAST. 

This is where she was always thinking about her past traumas

and was always looking for ways to avoid reliving past hurts and pains.

This was also where she was stuck thinking about back when 

things used to be better or working out for her... Her regrets. 

But what she didn't realize, until now..

 that this mind set of the DEAD PAST put her in a state 

where she was simply enduring a miserable existence but yet not fully living. 

So she made a New Pact with her higher self, taken from a quote from RC Blakes, 

 that she was going to

 "Divorce her History in order to make a date with Destiny!"

Then as she continued to listen to her favorite Pastor, and she learned that 

the second mindset that she was seriously stuck dwelling in was indeed

the mindset of living in the PRESENT MOMENT.

This made her a survivalist! 

And that made perfect sense to her...

Especially since she came from a past life of being a

Highly esteemed Independent survivor!

But her mission in this life was definitely not in running on

impulsive survival warrior mode.

Yet, this is exactly who she had become so far... 

So here she was... 

Ready and willing to get off of this merry go round of a life... 

She was ready to learn and activate the Third way of life.

The Queen conscious mind set way. 

This is where she was going to take the time and effort to truly understand 

who she was. 

Authentically. 

This is where she was going to do the work of finding her true self.

Who God had created her to be. 

She was going to do the work to find and feel 

her true worth in God her creator.

She was ready to chart her course based on her creator's instruction

relative to her true future. 

And it all began with changing her Mind Set!