She had let her brew simmer for quite some time now.
Almost to the point that it was boiling over.
But honestly,
there wasn't even enough water left in her brew to start a boil.
She was pretty much allowing everything to just simmer away.
Her brew had become a sticky mess of nothingness.
It was time for her to either turn off the stove and clean the pot
or
She could add more water to it and start all over again.
Decisions... Decisions....
But then she decided...
And her decision was probably not one she wanted,
but she did it anyways.
Besides,
there was no water anywhere.
The well had run dry a long time ago...
And so she picked up her pot and began scrubbing away at it.
There was a lot of scum burned to the bottom of it.
But she didn't give up.
She scrubbed hard at it.
And as she rinsed it clear, she realized with no shock
on her face that she had scratched up the entire pot
by scrubbing so hard.
And such was her life.
It was the very day of the Sagittarius New moon...
And she had been so emotional all that very day.
"DRAiN" said a soft little voice...
She looked at the little girl with the crystal blue eyes.
"Drain what?" she asked in confusion.
The little girl just stared at her and then went on to
pinch her hard
until she let out a shriek of "Ouch!"
And the little blue eyed angel just giggled back at her.
She instinctively knew that this little girl was
trying hard to show her that she needed to drain her emotions.
Her feelings.
She had been holding them in for quite some time now.
And it was time..
She needed to DRAiN!!
But how?
That was always the biggest and most complex question
for her....
But where was she to find the answer to it?
And what if she never found it?
She didn't like that thought at all.
She did want to drain.
But maybe for all the wrong reasons.
And maybe that is why draining didn't just happen
for her naturally...
Maybe she had a false belief...
Maybe she thought there was something wrong with releasing
emotions from loss, especially when she had been hurt...
And that's when it hit her!
All her life, she had been placing herself in relationships
where she was getting hurt.
She would build up a scenario where she would have to
blow it up.
End it!
Escape from it!
911 help! Help!
And they would come running!
And she would be saved!
But was she?
If in the end she felt sad...
How could she have won?
And this was the false belief!
It ran deep..
Very deep!
Like the grooves in the pot she had scrubbed!
But why was she doing it?
What fear was running this false belief?
It almost seemed like there were a few, not just one.
However, one of the biggest ones was that if she had feelings
that it must have meant that she was wrong.
But she wasn't.
And even if the feelings were there, it only made her human.
She could still say, the situation was not right, yet still own her
feelings from it.
As a human, she was able to feel for others even when they did her harm.
This was unconditional love.
And it felt good to have it.
'Feelings' actually felt good when they flowed.
Even if they were feelings of sadness, pain, shame, or hurt.
Because once they flowed, they brought a gift of
release in the end.
And release always flowed into the river of love.
And love was power.
Power to rebuild from scratch!
To begin again.
To try something differently!
And that gave hope!
And Hope was Eternal!
