She sat at her small table in the kitchen,
doing her usual meditation and journaling practice.
She walked over to the coffee maker and got her cup of coffee.
As she was heading back to her table something called to her
from outside the window.
It was a cardinal.
She remembered her father and said a loving hello.
Then she asked, "what message have you for me?"
And then she opened herself up to receive the response.
She continued to watch the bird with an open mind
and saw him jump down to a branch within some bushes.
Then he began to hide angrily into the bush.
He poked his head out and tried to peck at a branch.
Then he went back in the bush and just rustled around
as if it were stuck or lost in it.
As she allowed her mind to go into her heart and receive
the message God had just tried to connect her with...
Her higher self chimed in and said...
Look at your life in the now moment.
What do you see?
And she saw that she was constantly chasing people.
She was the one who reached out to family.
She was the one who tried to keep the connections alive.
She was the one always battling for them to accept her..
Yet, she was constantly hiding and fighting her true feelings
just to keep them happy with her.
And that's when she saw it!
Learning her Queen-ology opened her eyes to God's truth!
Queens don't chase.
And this Cardinal came to point it out!
The false belief that she thought was correct and true.
The false belief that people who neglect you and don't respond to you
are the ones that must love you.
And she believed this because that is the family
environment that she grew up in.
It had become a norm for her to listen to the words,
no matter how critical or condescending,
of a higher up like a mother and a father all because
that is how she grew up. And because she was in their control,
because of the way God designed dependency on a mother and father
to raise children to a certain standard, she believed that
this chasing must have been 'love'.
As a child, what she couldn't see or understand though was
that mom and dad were negligent and abusive
not only to themselves and to each other, but it also
rippled down to the way they taught their children.
And this was the family cycle that kept repeating.
And this is the cycle that she unconsciously was holding onto
as Truth.
When really, it was the very thing that kept
destroying any and all possibilities for her.
She realized now that every time she did have any friends or
lovers that actually did call, contact, care, and try to connect with her,
that she would turn them down out of fear that they were trying to
get too close that they were invasive,
and trying to deceive her because of that.
But the truth was...
The people who actually did want to connect, were actually the ones
that had love in their hearts for God, themselves, and for others.
Whereas the people who were constantly too busy to even write her back
were the ones who actually were not loving God, or themselves,
and definitely had no love for others
because the flow wasn't a forward motion.
They were on a track going back...
Lived spelled forward was the way of Life.
Whereas,
Lived spelled Backwards equaled Devil.
And So... she thanked her Cardinal friend.
And she Thanked God for this revelation!
She didn't hate anyone though.
She didn't hate herself for not knowing or for having to learn
this the hard way.
She wasn't angry.
She was Unconditional Love and had great compassion
for All.
She just finally began to understand that it wasn't her job to change anyone
but herself.
And that all she could do, was share her experience with everyone who
wanted to hear it or read it.
Thank you to all of you who do read my blogs!
I love you all!
XoXo <3
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